Emerging Women

This story from the Czech Republic was recently brought to my attention –

Fresh from their success in parliamentary elections, a group of female politicians have posed for a calendar to highlight the growing presence of women in Czech politics. Members of the Public Affairs party will feature in a 2011 charity calendar posing provocatively in revealing outfits. The party’s racy calendar comes after a record 44 women were voted into the 200-seat lower house of the Czech parliament.

Predictably the response to this is mixed. Some are praising the women for being empowered – in their bodies and in their careers. It is classic third wave feminism, women taking control of their sexuality and using it to their advantage to show that they are in control of their own lives. Others though are mocking these women, saying that they are demeaning themselves, setting the women’s movement back thirty years, and playing into the idea that women are only useful as sex objects.

I’d be interested to hear how the readers here respond to something like this. But beyond that I’d like to hear your thoughts on women’s sexuality. Does a woman being sexy imply that she is an object for men to consume or can it be an expression of her reclaiming ownership of her body and being comfortable in her own skin? For Christians, is there any place for a woman to look good or sexy, or is that automatically condemned as sinful or tempting? What options are there for Christian women to affirm her body without sending the wrong message?

I love to hear how the readers here navigate these issues in a world where there are obviously drastically different points of view.

By Julie Clawson

Jim Henderson of Off the Map is working on a book on how the church treats women. As part of his research he commissioned the Barna Group to conduct a survey of women’s experiences in the church. They (Barna Group) spoke with 603 women who met the following qualifications: 18 years or older, described themselves as “Christian” And had attended a Christian church service at least once during the past six months. Among those women, 63% met the survey criteria for being a “Born Again Christian.”

Here’s a bit of what the survey discovered –

1. 84% say that their church’s perspective on women in ministry is almost identical, very similar, or somewhat similar to their own.
2. 83% say that their Senior Pastor is somewhat, highly or completely supportive of women leading in their church
3. 82% say they can tell by their church’s actions that the church values the leadership of women
4. 81% say that their church provides women with the same degree of leadership opportunities as Jesus would.
5. 72% say they possess a lot of spiritual freedom in their life
6. 70% say that the media has little influence on their decision-making
7. 71% say fear is not something they experience ever or often in their life
8. 62% say that ALL leadership roles are open to them in their church.
9. Only 1% say they often struggle with jealousy
10. Among those who feel they are capable of doing more to serve God, and should be doing more, only 4% say that their fear of failure is holding them back from doing more to serve God.

Jim admits that these results seem almost unnaturally positive and asked for other women to comment if these results actually represent their own experience. Here’s what a few Emerging Women wrote on their own blogs concerning the results -

Pam Hogeweide responded -

When I first saw these stats, I had to reread them three times just to make sure I was understanding the data. It then became apparent to me: if a woman in church believes she is only meant to serve and lead other women or children, then yes, of course she is content within her church experience. If today’s Christian woman is convinced by the men in power who teach her that she is to remain dutifully in her biblically mandated role, then this is the perception she will report from.

To answer Jim’s question for myself, No, these stats do not match my experience, nor the experience of many, many women on the road of faith I have known for the last 28 years.

Kathy Escobar commented as well –

once i look up and out at the reality of women in the typical evangelical-y church system i get really, really sad. and really, really mad. when i read these statistics i honestly thought it was a joke. they are not representative of the majority of women that i know and their experiences. but then i remembered that most of the women i hang out with on a regular basis are, on the whole, no longer drinking the christian company kool-aid.
what do i mean by the company kool-aid?

i mean the things that the system tell us to believe. the things that leaders engrain into the community’s culture. the things that are backed up with “we’re 100% certain this is what God meant.” the subtle and direct messages that “good christians believe this.” the herd mentality that is so strong in any homogenous culture–this is the direction everyone’s going so i better tow the line and walk this way, talk this way, too.

And Sonja writes –

It made me angry to read these statistics. It made me angry, not just for the women … but for all the people involved in those churches. They are losing out. This is not the Kingdom of Heaven that Jesus talked about in the Sermon on the Mount, or as he walked with his disciples or at any time. Would even Peter, or John the beloved disciple be able to answer these questions so affirmatively? How about Mary Magdalene? Good grief, if even the disciples struggled with jealousy why on earth can only 6 women out 603 acknowledge it? Perhaps it was the word, often, that threw them off. Maybe they decided that they could deny that jealousy was something that strolled in and regularly did battle in their hearts. I know I will stand up and say that I am jealous all the time. It doesn’t make me mean anymore, but acknowledging it to myself and being able to laugh at it has made it easier.

Then this report made me sad. The kind of sad that aches in my bones. Because when I look at it I see poverty. The church in North America (like the US) may have a lot of money. It may have a lot of stuff. We may also have a lot of people for all I know. But we are starving to death. Emaciated and dying for lack of food, water and oxygen. Worse, we are doing it to ourselves. With a huge smile on our faces. We are a people with anorexia or bulimia. When we look in the mirror we see fat and happy, but the reality is we are starving. Dying.

In all truth I lost my faith in the Barna Group’s ability to conduct meaningful surveys years ago. The way they ask their questions, and especially who they ask them of, doesn’t exactly represent reality as I know it. But I get that for women in churches that tell them that “1. Women must not lead in the church, 2. To question that is to question the Bible, and 3. That to question the Bible (or admit there might be different interpretations) is a slippery-slope into unchristian liberalism” OF COURSE they are going to say that they are in agreement with their church’s confining views of women. I bought that lie hook, line, and sinker for years, I know that world.

So like the other women have expressed, these survey results sadden me. They do represent a segment of the church – one where patriarchy rules disguised in biblical clothing. These women don’t have the freedom to question their position without fear of being mocked or excluded from their fellowship. They don’t even have the freedom to admit they experience fear or jealousy (what sort of sick repression is going on here in our image first church world????) They don’t believe that they are allowed to be happy in any other setting. I get that that part of the church exists. But it’s not my experience anymore. Maybe the women who have escaped that world might not fall into Barna’s strict definition of Christian (didn’t a few years ago they define a Christian as one who believes in the Bible’s inerrancy?) I don’t know, I just know that some of these results are disturbing on a deep and visceral level. There is much we can learn from the results, and I am eager to read Jim’s response in his book. But I also think there is a real danger of these statistics being grievously misused in defense of the continued oppression of women and the silencing of half the church. I pray that is not the case.

By Julie Clawson

The Time Magazine Newsfeed recently posted an article on a new defense women have against rape – a female condom with teeth, literally. From the article –

As a young physician on call one night 40 years ago in South Africa, Dr. Sonnet Ehlers tended to an emaciated rape victim. As she counseled the victim, she always remembered one important thing she said: “If only I had teeth down there.”

Thus the development and advent of the Rape-aXe female condom, designed not so much as birth control or for STD protection, but more so as a defense against rape, particularly in South Africa, a nation where 1 in 4 men say they have committed the crime.

Without really describing how the Rape-aXe actually works, we can tell you how it is designed: the device is a latex sheath with barbed spines on the inside. It is inserted into a woman’s vagina much like a tampon. When an assailant attacks a would-be victim, seconds later he finds himself writhing in unknowable pain and must have the device surgically removed. About 30,000 of the devices were distributed for free during the World Cup in several cities and will sell for about $2 afterward.

But the device is not without its critics, with some saying it will cause rapists to become more violent, and others saying it could be misued by vindictive female lovers seeking retribution. But on her website, Ehlers has answers to all those questions and more.

Regarding men becoming angry upon getting trapped: Rape-aXe will buy you time to get away, ( I know this from a patient that caught himself in his zipper. Rape-aXe will have the same effect just worse.)…

My first thought was that this is a modern chastity belt. But instead of a rusty spiked diaper locked onto a woman by her father to safeguard her virginity, a woman can choose this option to protect herself. But the reason it’s needed remain the same – men feel like they can control women physically and sexually. In the past it was the fathers prizing their daughter’s virginity for the economic and political advances it could get them. Now it’s men asserting their strength and power over women through violence and rape. The times and methods have changed but the message that women are objects to be ruled and controlled by men is still alive and well in our world. But now women can do something to fight back against their attackers, branding them as rapists in the process.

As long as women are not seen as equals of men, men will continue to oppress and abuse us in these ways. I for one would prefer the world to change and equality achieved instead of something like this being necessary. But at the same time, men still treat women as objects and rape is all too common in our world. Giving women means to protect ourselves is a sad but necessary safeguard in a man’s world.

Julie Clawson is a mother, a former pastor, and a writer. She moderates the Emerging Women blog and has a personal blog at julieclawson.com. She is the author of Everyday Justice: The Global Impact of Our Daily Choices.

By Julie Clawson

Recently, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) issued a recommendation which essentially promotes female genital mutilation (FGM) and advocates for “federal and state laws [to] enable pediatricians to reach out to families by offering a ‘ritual nick’,” such as pricking or minor incisions of girls’ clitorises. The Policy Statement “Ritual Genital Cutting of Female Minors”, issued by the AAP on April 26, 2010, is on one hand intended to help protect young girls. The reasoning is that often families from certain cultural traditions will leave the country or find alternate sources to perform FGM on their daughters, so the AAP is suggesting that if doctors here perform a ritual prick or minor incision of a girl’s clitoris, it will prevent families from inflicting the harsher forms on their daughters.

This recommendation has of course been met with some outrage. FGM is illegal in the United States and a new law is currently being proposed to make it illegal to transport girls out of the U.S. for the purpose of FGM. While this is a cultural tradition for some, others see it as simply another form of violence against women. FGM is the removal of all or part of a woman’s genitalia for the purposes of controlling her sexuality and insuring she is a virgin until marriage. Women in cultures that practice FGM are often not accepted by their culture unless they have had it done to them. Advocates of women’s rights argue that women should be permitted to control their own bodies and be free to experience sexual pleasure as adults.

So it is shocking to many to hear the AAP’s recommendations. While the proposal is supposedly meant to protect young girls, it still sanctions the mentality that women’s sexuality must be controlled by men. The idea that doctor’s in America could do this to young children is abhorrent to those who fight to protect the voiceless.

Of course, this is only a recommendation from the AAP and may never become reality it raises some serious ethical questions. How do you react to this recommendation? Do you see this as protecting women or oppressing them?

I wanted to spread the word about Jim Henderson’s (Off the Map) new project -

From Jim -
I’m doing research for my next project- The Resignation of Eve. I want to interview Christian or formerly Christian women who are experiencing or have gone through one or more of the Three Stages of Resignation. I will be doing these interviews in May. Most will be via Skype but some might be in person (depending on where I am in the world). Get more details in the blog and post a short explainer in the comments (at this site) (100 words or less) as to why you or your friend might be a good person for me to interview.

1. Resigned To
Using the word “resigned” in the passive sense we will highlight the most widespread abuse of women in the church – blocking, stonewalling and stalling women’s interest in gaining more influence in the church. We will tell the stories of women who find themselves “stuck” in a Catch 22. They love their church and the people but they also know they aren’t being given the opportunity to bring their best. Some are very frustrated others have simply come to terms with it.

2. Resigned From
This section profiles women who have walked away from Christianity, Church and in some cases God. These are women who at one time were very dedicated Christians, church goers and bible study leaders who have opted out for other beliefs or no beliefs. In spite of their rejection of the religion that confused and complicated their lives many of these women often lead fulfilling and productive and even deeply spiritual lives.

3. Re-Signed Up
Life is about making trades. Two people can appear to be doing the same thing but for two very different reasons. This section features the stories of women who have found a way to “orbit the giant hairball” called Christianity. They’ve learned the art of “defining themselves and staying connected”. They’re engaged but not owned, integrated within the church but knowledgeable about its inherent limitations and dangers. They’ve discovered ways to contribute to something they often disagree with. What makes these women different is that they don’t deny or just accept the situation they know it exists, talk about it and are seeking to change it from within.

By Anonymous

What does it mean to be an abuse survivor and a Christian?

I’ve had good cause to wonder about this.

I am a survivor of emotional abuse. During the brief relationship I had with a young Christian man who went to my church, I was emotionally and mentally assaulted on an almost daily basis and told that I was bringing it on myself with my “crazy” behavior. By the time our relationship ended, I didn’t know down from up anymore. My entire sense of self was nearly obliterated by means of his chronic degradations. My entire reality was destabilized by him telling me that most of what I believed or experienced was wrong. What was worse, because he had endeavored to keep our relationship a “secret”, very few people knew we had even been together, let alone what he had done. I didn’t even understand the reality of what had been done to me until months later, and I had to resort to therapy in order to deal with the post traumatic stress disorder and hypervigilance that was interfering with my behavior every day. To make matters worse, going back to that church was not an option for me at the time. I felt at the time (and I still do) that it is not safe for me to be where he is, and opening myself up to the ridicule, blame, and disbelief that I felt I would experience from him and members of my church by exposing his abuse is simply not something I can face. I cannot even live in the same town right now; I live elsewhere.

I have been lucky enough to find a church family that affirms me where I am now. Therapy helps me to regain power over myself; as I do so, my need for vengeance against him diminishes. Forgiveness remains an open question, one I am amenable to in the future, but is simply not possible now. Kindly meant remarks such as “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle” and “Well, why didn’t you leave him?” serve to fuel my rage. God sure as hell didn’t give this to me. Furthermore, blaming the victim for being unable to understand or combat the violence that was inflicted on her or him remains counterproductive at best, outright cruel at worst.

I wonder what it means to be the body of Christ when abuse has happened within it. What was done to me was justified by him with crude moralistic weapons. It was compounded when certain people I trusted treated me like I must have done something to deserve it. Neither of these has anything to do with Jesus or his teachings; quite the opposite, in fact. Yet I find time after time that Christians, including people that I cared for and trusted in my church community, still hold these anti-Christian attitudes. Hence my fear, which in one sense is unfounded (for maybe I am not giving them enough credit) and in another sense is very much based in reality. I’ve seen what happens to women who accuse famous men of rape in the media. I’d rather not have something similar play out in my own life.

What does it mean to be a woman in the church? What does it mean to be silent about violence perpetrated within the church? There is no doubt in my mind that Christ is by my side, weeping tears with me, gently bringing every new healing into creation, holding me up when I feel I cannot go on. I am not so trustful of his followers. Something about having the most fragile parts of you violated makes you wary of trusting people again. My own mother could barely believe that this happened to me. In the early days of understanding, trying to sort through what had really happened, one of my classmates said, “It could happen to anyone. You’re not alone.” I am not alone. What does that mean for me? What does that mean for the church?

What does reconciliation mean?

I don’t know the answers to these questions. I know that my Creator came to destroy a system that is so firmly entrenched that even today, with all our so-called progress, survivors are afraid to speak up. I know that it is only in Christ that I will be healed and become whole again.

Today, March 8, is International Women’s Day – a day dedicated worldwide to recognizing the achievements of women. I wanted to highlight some of the posts women in our network created to honor the day. If you have a link you would like us to add, leave it in the comments and it will be added to the list.

Angie Muresan reflects on celebrating IWD in Romania– “When I was a child, every March 8 dawned fresh and glistening. In our country it was a national holiday, a celebration of being a woman, a mother, a wife, a colleague. Children at school worked on crafts and wrote letters to their mothers. Men brought flowers and chocolates for the females in their lives. Mothers sent children to school with bouquets of spring flowers for the female teachers, and after saying, “I kiss your hand,” the obligatory child to female adult greeting, we would give them the flowers.”

And she is hosting a book giveaway in honor of the day, so stop by her site!

Kathy Escobar writes on the power of being wanted – “there’s a strong and powerful undercurrent in the patriarchical, hierarchical systems that have permeated the church that says to women “we don’t really want you.” well, actually we do, but we want you “if you will play by our power rules” or to “do the grunt work that needs to get done, take care of the kids & keep the world spinning round at church & at home.” but we don’t really want all of you–your powerful, creative, beautiful gifts & powerful, wise, nurturing voice side-by-side us as equals together.”

Sonja Andrews takes on Women’s History Month – “But there is something about the idea of having the dominant population “allow” a month for women’s history or african-american history or whatever history that is vaguely unsettling. Because if the culturally dominant population is still in a position to allow this, then they are also in a position to take it back. Which means … they still hold all the power.”

Julie Clawson writes on why we need IWD – “But the fact remains, if women truly were treated as equals, valued for our contributions, respected for our ideas, and not assumed to be inferior or incapable in any way, then there would not need to be a day to bring attention to the achievements of women.”

And I have to add, Nicholas Kristof’s New York Times article today on three proven steps to advance the world’s women as a informative must read.