Emerging Women

My church is currently doing a series where we are exploring how cultural system of patriarchy have not only hurt women and men, but they have forced us to limit God. It is a very difficult series because it exposes in us woundings that many of us have never fully faced before. But if we truly desire to love each other and worship God fully in spirit and truth, we have to force ourselves to explore difficult topics.

During our first week, we played this song by Cary Cooper, “Pretty Girls,” that really gets at the pain unhealthy cultural expectations and gender roles can cause us. I thought I’d share it here.

Pretty Girls

You…never like…your ugly duckling
You never like me…without my…lipstick on
You…never like…my recollections where your memories
Where you memories are…tread upon

You…never come…right out and tell me
The scenic route has…always…been your way
But I’ve…been riding shotgun with you long enough to know
Long enough to know what you mean when you say

Pretty girls…have pretty voices
Pretty girls…preserve their youth
Pretty girls…know all their choices
Pretty girls…don’t tell the truth

You…can teach a girl…to curtsy
Set a table…like her great grandmother did
You…can dress her up…in velvet
Neglect to tell her…all…the secrets you hid

And love…love is not…the question
Cause if you wanted…you could love someone to death
Love…them straight into…the closet…afraid to draw
Afraid to draw…afraid to draw a breath

Pretty girls…have pretty voices
Pretty girls…preserve their youth
Pretty girls…know all their choices
Pretty girls…don’t tell the truth

Pretty girls…have pretty voices
Pretty girls…preserve their youth
Pretty girls…know all their choices
Pretty girls…don’t tell the truth

By Jenny Rae Armstrong

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it really means to be a Christian, and about the challenges of being or calling oneself a Christian in American society. As a missionary kid in Liberia, I had friends from many different nations, cultures, and faiths, and was faced early with the fact that many good, devout people believed very differently than I did. The sincerity and devotion of my Muslim, Buddhist, and Jain friends challenged me. They held tight to the doctrines they were taught from infancy, lived out their faith in the ways prescribed by their sacred books and cultures.

I couldn’t help but wonder, was I any different? I had been born to Christian parents in the backwoods of Wisconsin, and I believed in Jesus with all my heart. But if I had been born in Taiwan, like my friend Yu-San, would I be a Buddhist? If I had been born in the Cameroon, like my friend Mohammed, would I be a Muslim?

The answer made me uncomfortable. I figured that if I was going to ask Yu-San or Mohammed to reconsider their beliefs, to be willing to chuck everything they had been taught by the people they loved the most out the window, I had better be willing to do the same. To ask questions. To regard my culture with a critical eye. To be willing to temper my “worldview” with as much logical and emotional distance as I could muster.

That was a very good thing, a refining and refocusing of my faith. And honestly, I think this is an are where “third culture kids,” children who are raised in a culture that is not their own, have an advantage. They are the perpetual outsiders, savvy anthropologists who don’t fit into their home or host cultures (whichever is which). Everyone sees the world through their own pair of glasses, the lenses focused by education, experience, and cultural expectations–it’s just that third culture kids tend to have several pairs lying around, and find it easier to change them at will.

Anyhow. Fast forward twenty years, to a sleepy little county in Northern Wisconsin. Churches abound, their libraries stocked with books on developing a “Christian worldview” (invariably written by evangelical Protestant males of European descent). Christian novels, Christian newspapers, Christian music, Christian tee-shirts, Christian dietary supplements (?!) are everywhere. Politicians on both sides of the aisle season their speeches with oblique allusions to their Christian faith, in the hopes that if they can just brush the hem of Jesus’ garment, some of his glory will rub off on their agendas. And while not everyone in Douglas County, Wisconsin would claim to be a Christian, there are precious few of them who would claim to be anything else, a Muslim, or a Hindu, or a Buddhist.

My question is, how is it possible to be a Christian in a place like this? How is it possible to tell the difference between your faith and your culture when they are, for all intensive purposes, one and the same? I’m overstating the point, obviously, but our preconceptions of what it means to be a Christian are HUGE. Do we assume Christians talk a certain way? Vote a certain way? Dress a certain way? Drink (or not drink!) a certain way? If we’re honest, most of us would question the salvation of a man seen swigging alcohol at a party with prostitutes. Good thing Jesus didn’t need to be saved.

If we strip away the preconceptions, take off our glasses and try our hardest to step outside our carefully crafted worldview, what are we left with? Is it enough? Is your faith built on the shifting sand of cultural Christianity, on what you’ve heard at church, from loved ones, on Christian media or from the latest Beth Moore Bible study? If those same sources told you something different, would you believe differently?

Or is your faith built on something that doesn’t change, on the salvation of God through the person of Jesus, as revealed through scripture?

It’s not an easy question to answer, and it can be hard to see Jesus through the religion that sprung up around him. I struggle with this constantly–I even struggle to remember to struggle, to keep searching for more and more of God instead of settling into the warm, familiar comfort of American “churchianity.” But I am afraid that the American church has been lulled to sleep by a false sense of security, that instead of running the race with perseverance, we’re playing the hare and hunkering down for a theological snooze, certain of our innate superiority and inevitable victory.

I guess what I’m really asking is have we put our faith in Jesus, or have we put our faith in Christianity? And which would we choose if (and when) the two are at odds?

If you’re not sure you can tell the difference between the two, a good place to start would be by reading the Gospels–Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John–in long, uninterrupted hunks, so you can get a sense of the big picture unfolding in each book, instead of little snatches of verses read out of order and out of context. Study Jesus–viewing the church through the lens of the Gospels, instead of vice-versa, can be very enlightening. I’m going to be kicking off my 2010 Bible reading with another pass through the Gospels, to refresh my focus on the person of Jesus. It’s just so, so easy to lose sight of him…

Jenny Rae Armstrong is a freelance writer and musician. She and her husband Aaron own DeepWater Music (www.deepwatermusic.net) and live in Northern Wisconsin with their four little boys. This post originally appeared at her blog jennyraearmstrong.blogspot.com.

From the Campaign for Gender Equality, written by Ann J. Simonton, Founder and Coordinator of the educational non-profit, Media Watch.

Back in the 70’s the United Nations reported that advertising images of women presented a major stumbling block to their advancement. Today the U.N. continues to report that “the roots of violence to women lie in unequal power relations and the persistent discrimination against women.”

In my university lectures I ask audiences to imagine what it might be like if females were portrayed within the public sphere as fully clothed, diverse, respected contributors to the betterment of society rather than as the ever popular barely clothed, anorexic teen, spread-eagle on a floor staring wide-eyed at the camera seeking approval? I also attempt to help people see the big picture, which can illustrate the huge disconnect between popular image of females depicted within the white, male-dominated corporate media and the global reality of women’s arduous road toward equality, including a right not to be sexually violated and silenced.

The biggest key to getting these rights in our culture is education. Unfortunately the commercial media bombards us with falsehoods that counter education. After a steady diet of Fox News, Gossip Girls, Family Guy and Cathouse, one might easily conclude that women are not exploited – in fact, in many ways, they have it better than men! Women in the media are forever thin and youthful; she is a beauty addict, a lazy welfare queen, a sexualized child, a manipulative bitch, and she will trick men into marriage using her sexuality. Media stories highlight paid escorts and strippers who love their jobs and the prostitute’s image is then imitated by iconic celebrities who appear in film, music videos and advertising. These popular media stories reinforce the status quo, and offer little or no coverage of how this public hatred impacts every woman.

It can be argued males don’t look so good in mainstream media either. But men in the media continue to outnumber women two to one, they can grow old without extraordinary surgical intervention, and they remain the voice and face of authority. Rarely are women in the media seen as a legitimate authority. And, as Clinton’s run for presidency showed us, if she dares to lead, she will be reduced to a whining horror in a pantsuit.

The Power of an Image

Are we waiting for the scientific community to stand in their crisp white lab coats holding clipboards to tell us we are in trouble? It won’t happen. It is very difficult to prove that a person viewing a violent movie or image will predictably and repeatedly behave a certain way. But let’s ask President Obama, who is currently barring images of detainee abuse which include rape and torture. Obama claims that releasing the photos, “would pose an unacceptable risk of danger to U.S. troops in Afghanistan and Iraq.” So the government clearly believes that images of one group humiliating and harming another group will incite the enemy and likely cause an “unacceptable risk of danger.” In another example from Catharine Mackinnon’s book, Are Women Human?, we find that during the “international criminal tribunal for Rwanda . . . three media leaders were found guilty of genocide and persecution for broadcasts and publications that impelled the killing of Tutsi and moderate Hutu civilians in the Rwandan genocide of 1994. The point of the ruling was not to find the negative and hateful statements but to prohibit what was done to people as a result of them. Cartoons that sexualized the hate and fear of Tutsi women were linked to their mass rape.”

We do know, after years and volumes of work on the effects of violent media, that the most dangerous type of violent media is when it is realistic, justified, attractive, and/or where acts of violence receive no negative consequence. Continual consumption of violent content over time teaches everyone, including small children, that violence is an accepted way to solve problems. We also know violence in the media increases the risk of viewers behaving aggressively, which is only one of several dozen documentable negative effects. Media studies also confirm that witnessing repeated violent acts can lead to desensitization and a lack of empathy for human suffering. Mainstream media creates the dominant narrative on how violence against women is perceived and how bad this violence can be when it is used as entertainment. A recent study of the Parents Television Council found that in the past 4 years mainstream network television has seen an alarming 120% increase in depictions of violence to women and girls.

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

The media is filled with realistic, justified, and attractive images of women’s violation -
which is promoted as a source of sexual arousal for men. A recent content analysis of 50 best-selling adult videos (Wosnitzer & Bridges, 2007) revealed that over 88% of the 304 scenes analyzed showed physical aggression. Seventy percent of the aggressive acts were perpetrated by men. Women were overwhelmingly portrayed as the victims of aggression: 87% of acts were committed against women. By far the most common responses that victims expressed when they were being treated aggressively were either pleasure or neutrality. Less than 5% of the aggressive acts provoked a negative response from the victim; they neither fought back nor requested that the action be stopped. So here we have in a nutshell a combination of the most dangerous types of violent media bound together in a seductive delivery system, available free and anonymous online to everyone 24/7. Unfortunately, this is largely met with silence and inactivity on the part of well-meaning parents and teachers.

Commercial news programs provide little or no context as a results of the harm being done to women and children. News stories of women and girls being murdered and raped are hardly surprising. When a man murders his whole family, the news media often depicts him as the distraught father who lost his job, a quiet neighbor – rather than focusing on the life and dreams of those he kills. The media needs to be reminded that violence to women is a choice men make. Men are taking action, men are committing the crime. Instead we read passively phrased headlines, such as “Woman Raped”, “Woman Attacked” – as if the person who actively committed the crime is irrelevant; why not “Man Rapes” or “Man Attacks”? This small change would be profound.

We Have Work To Do

We could begin with a modest goal – that say 50% of the images that surround us depict diverse women of every race, age, ethnicity, size and economic background, women who stand on their own two feet with a focus on the work they do. Essentially our goal is a realistic portrait of the extraordinary working women in the world today, where none pose for viewer approval.

We aren’t arguing whether an individual has the right to view teens splayed out selling frivolous clothing from Ralph Lauren. We hope to reframe the discussion into a human rights issue and a public health issue. Imagine if we were still arguing about cigarettes from the standpoint of an individual’s right to smoke if they choose to. Of course they do, yet we also have a right to know the impact of those cigarettes on our health and the health of our community. Women are being shoved against a wall – and if we cannot end the pervasive hate speech, we must at the very least flood the wall with images of women’s true value and worth.

For action steps click here.

A friend of mine, Caitlin, has started a fantastic project at school that I wanted to let Emerging Women know about. She is passionate about helping young women have a healthy view of their body and to love themselves, and this project will help collect and highlight images and stories of girls finding the courage to love themselves. So take a look and get the word out to girls you know under 20 (even really young kiddos) –

I Think You’re Gorgeous

Hey, pretty girl. Let’s face it – you kick ass, and we both know it. Send me your art, and I’ll post it once a month.

THE RULES:
If you’re a girl who’s under 20, submit a piece of art – a poem, photography, a drawing, a short essay, anything – that follows the prompt of the month. If you mail your art, keep it no larger than an 8X10 page. Try to keep your text submissions down to 350 words or less.

SUBMIT BY EMAIL:
ithink_youregorgeous@yahoo.com

OR TRY SNAIL MAIL:
SU Box 6439
1001 E. University Ave.
Georgetown, TX 78626

November’s prompt!

Show me one thing you absolutely love about you. I want to see unabashed self-adoration. It could be a drawing of your eyes, a poem about your tennis expertise, whatever. Just make sure it’s artistic, authentic, and celebrates you.

Due November 25, so get crackin’!

This is what a girl power movie should be.

I went to see Whip It because it looked fun and was a totally Austin film (there’s something fun about sitting in the Alamo Drafthouse watching a movie where the characters go to the Drafthouse…). I discovered though the most genuine and life-affirming coming of age story that I have seen in a long time. The story is that of small-town Texas girl, Bliss (Ellen Page), who escapes her mother’s beauty pageant dreams for her life by entering a roller derby league. Sounds like the standard cliched formulaic “girl discovers herself” plotline. But Whip It acknowledges the cliche and gives the predictable a twist.

This is a film about a girl being empowered to find herself. But it does so while admitting that life is messy. You have the standard plotline of restricted kid being held back by irrational parents, but it is also more than that. Bliss’ mother isn’t just a controlling mom shoving 1950’s stereotypes of pageant queens down her daughter’s thoughts. She loves her kids and wants them to have more opportunities than she ever had. Bliss’ doesn’t pursue roller derby to rebel, she does it because she has discovered a part of herself she never knew existed. Sure, there is conflict with her family, but the take-home message is that the individual always has to exist in community as a vital part of a family. Bliss realizes that she needs her family and her friends even as she comes into her own.

What she realizes she doesn’t need is the boy. Like any in girl grows up movie, Bliss meets the guy, falls in love, and gets hurt. And doesn’t get back together. She realizes that she doesn’t want to be “that girl” who allows herself to be hurt by guys and who has to change who she is for them. She regrets giving everything to her boyfriend, but comes through the pain more aware of who she is and knowing that she doesn’t need a boyfriend in order to be a whole person. This isn’t a “men – who needs them” message, but it’s a strong reminder that a woman’s worth and identity is not defined by the man she’s attached to.

I also loved that her experience in roller derby wasn’t based on success but on being empowered by the experience. Unlike the typical guy sports film where the team ends up winning the state championship (and hence proving that hard work pays off blah, blah, blah…), when Bliss’s team comes in second place they don’t despair or choose to learn from their defeat or work harder next time – they break into a joyous team chant of “We’re number 2! We’re number2!” happy in their accomplishment of playing the game. They were a team and they proved to themselves as women that they could do this thing. That, not winning, was what mattered. I loved it.

Whip It was all about this healthy empowerment. It was the story of a girl discovering her own strength in community. She can be fierce and powerful and good, really good, at what she does. She doesn’t need to define herself by the warped standards of this world. She can be herself. This is the sort of story that we need to hear more often. Instead of the standard plotlines of “princess in need of rescue” or “someday my prince will come” found in most girl coming of age movies, Whip It provides a realistic role model I wouldn’t mind my daughter looking up to. Instead of telling women that we are defined by our bodies, our relationship with a man, our ability to compete and win, or our ability to be nice and compliant – we can hear that it’s okay to be ourselves in all of our glory and messiness.

But lest you think that Whip It is just a sappy after school special, remember that this is a movie about roller derby. It has action, fantastic skating scenes, and tough self-assured women all over the place. In short, it’s a fun movie that (thankfully) isn’t just drivel and fluff.

Crossposted from Julie Clawson’s blog

Tags: girl power, Whip It