Pretty Girls
My church is currently doing a series where we are exploring how cultural system of patriarchy have not only hurt women and men, but they have forced us to limit God. It is a very difficult series because it exposes in us woundings that many of us have never fully faced before. But if we truly desire to love each other and worship God fully in spirit and truth, we have to force ourselves to explore difficult topics.
During our first week, we played this song by Cary Cooper, “Pretty Girls,” that really gets at the pain unhealthy cultural expectations and gender roles can cause us. I thought I’d share it here.
Pretty Girls
You…never like…your ugly duckling
You never like me…without my…lipstick on
You…never like…my recollections where your memories
Where you memories are…tread upon
You…never come…right out and tell me
The scenic route has…always…been your way
But I’ve…been riding shotgun with you long enough to know
Long enough to know what you mean when you say
Pretty girls…have pretty voices
Pretty girls…preserve their youth
Pretty girls…know all their choices
Pretty girls…don’t tell the truth
You…can teach a girl…to curtsy
Set a table…like her great grandmother did
You…can dress her up…in velvet
Neglect to tell her…all…the secrets you hid
And love…love is not…the question
Cause if you wanted…you could love someone to death
Love…them straight into…the closet…afraid to draw
Afraid to draw…afraid to draw a breath
Pretty girls…have pretty voices
Pretty girls…preserve their youth
Pretty girls…know all their choices
Pretty girls…don’t tell the truth
Pretty girls…have pretty voices
Pretty girls…preserve their youth
Pretty girls…know all their choices
Pretty girls…don’t tell the truth
Tags: Cary Cooper, Pretty Girls
January 28th, 2010 at 6:56 pm
wow! i’m really happy to hear that a church is doing a study on this! (i was also happy to find other Christian feminists online! i was afraid i was alone!) I think the issue of gender/gender roles is a very important one in regard to the church, but we never talk about it. are you using a book for this study or anything? i would be really interested in getting my hands on it, if so.
January 29th, 2010 at 9:06 pm
no book – just a group of women coming together to lead the congregation through an exploration of the issues.
and glad you found us here!
January 30th, 2010 at 1:13 pm
I have also been blogging about this recently. It started with a self-examination of my own vanity, and then led me to ponder what is “beautiful” and why we have this cultural bias towards “beauty” that is not natural and God-given. The posts are More Beautiful You and Gray Roots… It’s led to some fruitful conversation around our home this week!
February 11th, 2010 at 9:48 pm
Its heartening to know that some church somewhere is talking about the gender issue, without it being about how women should submit. I am trying to not become angry every time I share my feelings about being a woman and people accuse me of being “bitter” and sort of turn away in shunning pose. I am angry about what I and most other women I know have been subjected to. I am not going to apologize for those feelings or try to temper them to make others more comfortable. I know that expressing my devastation, anger, frustration, pain will help lessen it. I long for the day when we can have open conversation about this issue. So thanks for giving me hope.
February 19th, 2010 at 12:33 am
Hi. I’m a male, and as such I’m not here to hijack the conversation or to offer insights or to offer perspective, but simply to say that I applaud this space and the conversations going on here. I am a member of a denomination that, after over 150 years, still does not ordain women ministers. I take very seriously the message this sends to my mother, to my sister, to my wife.
I am always grateful for people who approach these topics with sensitivity, insight and grace.
Thank you also for sharing this poignant work of art!