Emerging Women

By Angie Muresan

While at my mom’s this morning, I watched a little of the Kathie Lee and Hoda show (that may not be what the show’s called, but I’m sure it’s not far from that). For a half minute they were talking about what constitutes a great friendship, and one of them, don’t remember who, said that a great friend is someone who is happy for you and cheering you on even when you are successful at what you do, or when things go well. I got to thinking about it, because so often we, or at least I, have been under the impression that a real friend is the person who is loaning you the shoulder to cry on. You know that whole, ‘friend in need, friend indeed,’ bit.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this woman was on to something. Thinking back on not such pleasant circumstances in my life, girlfriends popped out of the woodwork, so to speak, whenever something unpleasant occurred, offering words of sympathy and kindnesses unheard of until then. And I remember wondering then if they just needed fodder for gossip, secretly glad at what had befallen me. Did my personal tragedies make them feel any more superior? Did they pretend to be strong, because in reality, they were weak?

I can say in all honesty that when I myself have acted in such a way, it gave me a definite sense of power, and it made me feel privileged that the mean reality of the other person’s life, was not mine. But to be truly happy (and I don’t mean half heartedly), for someone’s good fortune and blessings, now that is altogether different. It implies a pure heart, free of envy, jealousy, or spite. Love and encouragement in bad times as in good. That is a true friendship.

I am so curious what you readers, think about this.

Angie Muresan was born and raised in Romania during the communism dictatorship of Nicolae Ceausescu, where even her thoughts had to be censored for fear of blurting the wrong thing out. Now, she lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband, her two children, a house full of books and no television. This post originally appeared on her blog angiemuresan.com.

Tags: Angie Muresan, friendship