How to Avoid Dueling Jesus’…
…or something like that.
So, I’m going to be spending some of my vacation time this summer with extended family members who are in a different place, spiritually and socially speaking, than am I. If history repeats itself, I will probably be on their short list of people to “convert” to the One True Way ™ at some point during the visit. 
I have absolutely no desire to have a Jesus duel during our visit. These aren’t individuals that I see very often in person, and If I wanted to have a religious debate I’d stay home and surf Christian message boards.
During previous visits I’ve skirted around their questions by changing the subject. Most of the time this works pretty well, but there are certain topics (i.e. “You need to find a home church!” ) that just. won’t. go. away.
How do you deal with repetitive conversations like these? Is there a good way to say that topics X, Y and Z are off-limits?
(As an aside, I’m pretty good at saying “no” or “I don’t want to talk about that” with family members that I see more often. It’s the ones that I see once in a blue moon that I have more trouble setting boundaries with.)
June 18th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
“I am so appreciative of your concern. Believe me, I am working very hard on coming to terms with a faith in Christ. Please keep me in your prayers. Say…how ’bout those Red Sox, huh? And this corn, is it Silver Queen? Really, I’d love it if you would show me how it is that your roses always look so lovely. Dad! Hey, Wait a minute, Dad! I’ve got something to tell you!” (as you rush out the door and into the arms of any, absolutely any, diversion…i’m not claiming my advice is good, just presenting options.
June 18th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
IT may not be ‘right’ but I like to go with:
“Maybe you’re right…”
or
“Well, I’ll give that some thought…”
Sometimes that puts an end to it.
(sometimes it doesn’t…and if not – sorry! hope you enjoy the visit)
June 19th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
i tend toward being direct when i speak up because many people need directness to respect your boundaries, but i like what you’ve said in your post, “i don’t want to talk about that.” they may then ask “why not?” and i’d just say, “like i said, i don’t want to talk about it.” then, i’d change the subject.
June 20th, 2008 at 1:26 am
There really isn’t any good way to tell someone to mind their own business but a less than stellar way might be: “Didn’t we have this conversation before? Well my answer still stands.”