Emerging Women

I’m excited for our discussion of Eat Pray Love, the story of Liz Gilbert’s one year journey abroad in search of herself, God and balance. The following is taken from the Penquin discussion guide, accessible here. The website also contains a good introduction and an interview with author Liz Gilbert. My additions to the discussion guide are in bold.

1. After imagining a petition to God for divorce, an exhausted Gilbert answers her phone to news that her husband has finally signed. During a moment of quietude before a Roman fountain, she opens her Louise Glück collection to a verse about a fountain, one reminiscent of the Balinese medicine man’s drawing. After struggling to master a 182-verse daily prayer, she succeeds by focusing on her nephew, who suddenly is free from nightmares. Do these incidents of fortuitous timing signal fate? Cosmic unity? Coincidence? How do you feel about spiritual experiences that take place outside of a Christian context? How do you respond emotionally and intellectual to non-Christians who share their spiritual experiences with you?

2. Gender roles come up repeatedly in Eat, Pray, Love, be it macho Italian men eating cream puffs after a home team’s soccer loss, or a young Indian’s disdain for the marriage she will be expected to embark upon at age eighteen, or the Balinese healer’s sly approach to male impotence in a society where women are assumed responsible for their childlessness. How relevant is Gilbert’s gender? What was your emotional response to Gilbert’s decision to prioritize being true to herself over marriage, having children and living a conventional life? Did her choice to leave her marriage and not to have children effect your impression of Gilbert as a woman?

3. In what ways is spiritual success similar to other forms of success? How is it different? Can they be so fundamentally different that they’re not comparable?

4. Gilbert mentions her ease at making friends, regardless of where she is. At one point at the ashram, she realizes that she is too sociable and decides to embark on a period of silence, to become the Quiet Girl in the Back of the Temple. It is just after making this decision that she is assigned the role of ashram key hostess. What does this say about honing one’s nature rather than trying to escape it? Do you think perceived faults can be transformed into strengths rather than merely repressed? How has accepting who you are liberated you to minister to others?

5. Sitting in an outdoor café in Rome, Gilbert’s friend declares that every city—and every person—has a word. Rome’s is “sex,” the Vatican’s “power”; Gilbert declares New York’s to be “achieve,” but only later stumbles upon her own word, antevasin, Sanskrit for “one who lives at the border.” What is your word? Is it possible to choose a word that retains its truth for a lifetime? What do you think Jesus’ word is? Do you think this idea is similar to the special name believers are given in the book of revelation? How do the words and names we receive (from others, God and ourselves) impact who we are and who we become?

(edited to change format)

My friend Mary E. De Muth has just published a very interesting and timely parenting book that I think those of you with children might be interested in. It’s called Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture.

I haven’t finished reading it yet but have already found the first few chapters really informative and helpful. She’s a very honest writer and uses her own experiences parenting her three children with insight and transparency. I’m not a parent but I think she has a way of very clearly clarifying the changing shifts in culture that we are experiencing and how we can best aid children and young people in their negotiation of their culture.

Her website Pioneer Parenting is also a useful forum for parenting discussion and ideas. This might be a book Emerging Women could study in the book club.

Hi all. Weekly round-up time again. Enjoy these post from Emerging women!

Liza has some good thoughts on green parenting and a helpful video about Living Water International.

Amy reflects on the the love of Christ.

Nadia gives her thoughts on the early stages of starting a church.

Sonja has a fun story of an adventure in cooking posted.

Heather gives her response to questions about church.

and if you are looking for something to do next weekend, there is still time to register for the Midwest Emergent Gathering. We have a great group of people showing up and we will be having an informal Emerging Women lunch. (there will also be informal Ooze and Presbymergent hang out times as well if you’re part of those communities). So come to Chicago and hang out with us!

A few weeks ago I ranted on my blog about the trend to ban children from restaurants, beaches, and other public places. Apparently they are a nuisance and certain demographics just don’t want to deal with them. As the “me generation” retires and more and more young people are choosing not to have kids, they are asking not to have to deal with other people’s kids. I personally have serious issues with such an individualistic and selfish approach to life (and see it as a symptom of the breakdown of community and neighborliness). Then today Karen sent me a link to this news article. Apparently a mother traveling with her toddler were kicked off of a plane. No, the toddler wasn’t crying or throwing a fit, he was saying bye-bye to the plane and that annoyed the flight attendant. In fact she told the mother that she should have given her child Benadryl to shut him up. The mother rightly replied that, “‘Well, I’m not going to drug my child so you have a pleasant flight.” They were then kicked off the plane.

Stories like this really annoy me, but we are seeing more and more of this trend in our society. Both intolerance for children and the pressure to drug children into compliance. Be it Benadryl to get them to sleep or Ritalin in schools, drugs have become the first option for many. (and I completely admit that there are times when both of those drugs are needed and necessary). I’ve had parents tell me that they want to drug their bubbly extroverted daughter so she would act more like her shy introverted older sister (and the doctors complied). I’ve heard parents complain about the pressure they get from the schools to drug their children so that they don’t have as much energy in the classroom. And apparently the presence of babies and toddlers who aren’t drugged isn’t tolerated on airplanes. Basically we are under pressure to drug away childhood and a person’s natural personality.

I know this topic has arisen here before, but I’m interested in your thoughts and experiences. Is our society becoming more intolerant of children? Are we trying to drug away normal behavior and personality for the sake of convenience?

I hope people don’t mind me posting here again so soon, but I came across something that really moved me, and that taught me a huge amount in the space of a couple of minutes. I included it on my blog already, but I’ve extended the post a little for Emerging Women.

This video is obviously a church ad, but the poem is incredible. “To be known is to be loved, and to be loved is to be known”. Isn’t that all we really want? Isn’t it what moves and drives all of humanity? The need for love is built in to everybody, and it follows us from the time we’re born until the time we pass away.

The video is based on the feelings the that Samaritan woman who Jesus met at the well may have had. It has made me want to look a lot closer at the Samaritan woman to find out what more I can glean from her and her encounter with Jesus. I’ve never looked at it in this way before, and I probably never will again.

It’s certainly given me lots to think about.

Heather.

Biology aside, that is. As important as reproduction is for the continuation of our species, I’m more interested in looking at this from a spiritual and cultural angle.

I don’t enjoy many of the things that the mainstream media -and often even the church* – depicts as the interests of the “average” woman: makeup. manicures/pedicures. shopping. fashion. the everyday lives of celebrities.

Not that there’s anything wrong with liking these things. My interests just fall elsewhere.

While I was thinking about this, I realized that I define many of the things that I think make me a woman in some pretty negative terms and situations, most of which involved one’s interactions with strange men in public places. Especially if it’s after dark or if he acts a little too friendly. This isn’t to say that I think that the majority of men wander around looking for someone to hurt…far from it. I was just brought up to be wary.

Has this been your experience? How do you define what it means to be a woman?

*I recently visited a Christian bookstore. Their books were divided into sections, and the “women’s” section was, well, quite the pastel experience. But that’s a topic for another day.