Emerging Women

This is my first post here, and I’m struggling with it, so bear with me.

At school (I am just finishing my first year of college), gender roles, their cultural cues, and their implications societally and globally have sparked my interest this year (coming up in classes like International Politics, Anthropology, and Psychology). They interest me probably first because I don’t understand them, and second because they play a huge role in our international and domestic political systems, local cultures, and individual lives (besides churches, families, etc).

The thing is, I’m not hearing much from the church on these topics, and what I do hear seems to be mostly (I’m trying not to exaggerate) hatred and bigotry. I think it is long past time for an honest conversation to take place, but three things seem to inhibit that:
-our desire to be politically correct
-finding the topics removed from real life or irrelevant
-an unwillingness to be open

Ok, so my question for all of you is this, and please read the Newsweek article if you can before responding (unless you’re like an expert, which you may well be). Not that Newsweek makes you an expert, but then we’ll have a little common ground in our (my) limited knowledge.

What makes gender? What, essentially, is gendered, sans culture, environment, parentage, and societal expectations? Are there any innate differences beyond anatomy separating the sexes?

750,000-3 million Americans (less than 1%, but a huge number) “feel there is a disconnect between the sex they were assigned at birth and the way they see or express themselves.” How does this happen? How is it explained? One transgendered person Newsweek references is only six years old.

Furthermore, in the Olympics during the 1960s, “would-be female Olympians were required to undergo gender-screening tests. Essentially, that meant baring all before a panel of doctors who could verify that an athlete had girl parts. That method was soon scrapped in favor of a genetic test. Btu that quickly led to confusion over a handful of genetic disorders that give typical-looking women chromosomes other than the usual XX. Finally the Int’l Olympic Committee ditched the mandatory lab-based screening, too. ‘We found there is no scientifically sound lab-based technique that can differentiate between man and woman,’ sas Arne Ljungqvist, chair of the IOC’s medical commission.”

I don’t know how to pray for thes issues; I don’t know how to relevantly, practically love people involved in them; I don’t know what the church’s response should look like (other than different from what it is now); I don’t know how to follow Jesus through these issues when I’m so overwhelmed and confused and hear primarily a mute or hateful church. Let alone bestiality.

In Free of Charge, Mioslav Volf argues that we cannot be the initial givers to God who then expect reciprocity, because all things came from God as gifts to us in the first place, even our lives. This makes me think of how my a child can reason, “It’s my room! I can do what I want,” while I parent thinks, “Yeah, but who pays the mortgage?” Or a child says, “I’ll give you my red car if you’ll buy me a new fire engine.” And mom or dads thinks, “Wait, I gave you that red car for Christmas.” On the otherhand, if a child gives a parent a picture made with all her love and creativity, simply because, then I don’t know any parent who dismisses the value of the gift on account of the fact that Daddy bought the crayons and Mommy supplied the paper.

In what spirit to do we offer our gifts to God? How can we be the child we’d love to parent? What thoughts come to mind when you put yourself in God’s shoes (or at least try ?

Dear friends, I’d just like to thank you for your prayers for me and my family at this time. We have felt so supported.

You can go here to read the speech I gave at my mother’s funeral on Saturday.

Blessings
Miz Melly

Hi all. Time for our weekly round-up. Here are a few posts from emerging women that I wanted to highlight this week. Enjoy the read and have a great weekend.

Amy reflects on what it means to be clothed by God.

Sally has some thoughts on the spirituality of parenting.

Catherine reflects on how to radically love our neighbor.

Irim has a good post on what it means to live with an addict.

Connie writes about connecting to community through her local food coop.

and our prayers are with Miz Melly and her family.

I thought this was fascinating. If I was a Pastor I’d do a sermon on it.

A letter came addressed to “Resident” at our humble abode this very day. It came straight from hell.

On the envelope of this letter were these words, “Heavenly Father, we pray that this one who needs this divine help will write their needs on page two of this letter and will place this blessed, biblical, Acts 19:11,12, Handkerchief and this sealed Bible prophecy under their side of their bed as they sleep tonight. Let Thy power from heaven descend upon this home tonight and tomorrow night, after this one has mailed their most pressing needs back to this 56-year-old church ministry. We pray that they will break open this sealed prophecy after sunset tomorrow. Amen” (Italics and bold as printed on the envelope.)

Inside the envelope… drum roll, please… you guessed it – another ploy for money preying upon the poor and vulnerable. Of course the Holy Hankie (nothing more than a piece of paper with an edging printed upon it) was supposed to help answer all your prayers if you sent in a donation. It’s straight out of Robert Tilton 15 years ago. I know this to be true because my brother phoned Tilton’s “hotline” about that many years ago to get a Holy Hankie. He wanted to see if they would send him one even while he claimed he couldn’t afford to make a donation. It came as no surprise to anyone that Tilton’s “ministry” tried to weasel money out of him anyway and then refused to send him the handkerchief without a donation. But these guys (Saint Matthew’s Churches – Rev. James Eugene Ewing) sent it first with the expectation that perhaps the receiver would be so grateful for a magical prayer that he/she would send a faith gift in anticipation of the millions God would eventually send or miraculous answers to whatever seemed most pressing at the moment.

I get so cheesed with these little anti-Christs. And lest you think my anger unjustified, read this article about Saint Matthew’s Churches and their money-grubbing and evil founder.

This time I decided I would make them pay – literally, as in money. I stuffed all the information back into their No postage necessary envelope and added a note saying, “This is an abomination to the Lord. Repent.” A while later I found my husband and kids slitting open the envelope and attempting to find heavy objects that would raise the cost of the postage the organization would have to pay upon receipt of the envelope. They were giggling as they stuffed huge eye bolts into the envelope. I couldn’t laugh with them because I know about people who send their meager public assistance checks to organizations like this expecting that something fantastic will happen. In reality, it’s probably better to put your last quarter into a slot machine or buy lottery tickets with your welfare check than to send it to one of these scam ministries. There is a better chance of actually getting something back.

What makes it worse? They target their mailings to impoverished areas. There are quite a number of people on fixed incomes in my little town, and I wonder how many of the people from senior housing I see regularly at the local minimart will send money.

I hope that others will follow suit and send these organizations the message that their actions are evil. Make them at least pay for their own return postage. I don’t know if it will make any dent in the millions they bring in every year, but enough is enough, and a solution has to start somewhere. I won’t stand aside and see the poor bamboozled by those who claim to know Christ when they only care about their own pockets.

I can’t help but think of the parable of the sheep and the goats…

So Sonja recently wrote a blog post in which she raised the question of cultural perceptions of a women’s menstrual cycles. And before the men run to hide from the “TMI” post, let me say that that reaction is exactly what was being address and so stick around and deal.

In this post, Sonja discusses how “for centuries men have found women’s menstrual blood and the products they use to deal with it unclean and the butt of jokes.” She writes, “Without menstrual blood, we would not have the human race for much longer. It is that monthly cleansing of the womb that allows pregnancy and prolonging our species. It’s high time we acknowledged that far from being unclean and a joke, it is what allows us to be and continue being. It is what makes us intensely feminine, female and other and beautiful.”

Reading her thoughts there made me reflect on the general response I receive from guys regarding specifically female issues. They freak out and start making jokes (an immature response when the situation doesn’t call for them) when the topic of menstrual cycles, breastfeeding, childbirth, or even bras are brought up. Why is this?

On top of that as a woman, I often find myself being self conscious about such things as well. I remember how in jr. high how it was the ultimate embarrassment for a guy to see a pad in your purse, but even now such items are treated with the secrecy of an illicit drug deal. We do our best to disguise “our time of month” (or what ever other euphemism you use). We panic if a bra strap shows or if a button comes undone. We refrain from actually talking about the gory details of childbirth – which is why first time moms have no clue what to expect. And don’t even get me started on how breastfeeding is still a hidden taboo thing (but I love the t-shirt to the left). We seem to fear or hate our bodies as much as the men.

Is this a latent fear of all things feminine? It is too other for men to try to engage and understand? Is it part of the centuries old habit of despising women for the “weakness” of these things? Or is it even confined just to women or does our culture still accept the dualistic assumptions that disparage the physical body? And why do we as women continue to see the natural aspects of what it means to be female as something to be embarrassed by and hidden? Or is this just a Christian backlash to the world’s objectification of all things sexual?

You are thoroughly invited to comment here. Men and women. No equivocating. No hiding. Just share your reactions.