Emerging Women

Since this has been a really difficult time for me, my step-mom sent this to me in an e-mail. We had just had a long discussion about “the times you want to just give up”. She got home and a friend had sent this to her. She thought it ironic in that we have been talking the last few days about hard times. It’s the typical e-mail “thing”, but I thought it was a great little story.

Quilt of Holes

As I faced my Maker at the last judgment, I knelt before the Lord along with all the other souls. Before each of us laid our lives like the squares of a quilt in many piles; an angel sat before each of us sewing our quilt squares together into a tapestry that is our life. But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed how ragged and empty each of my squares was. They were filled with giant holes. Each square was labeled with a part of my life that had been difficult, the challenges and temptations I was faced with in every day life. I saw hardships that I endured, which were the largest holes of all. I glanced around me. Nobody else had such squares. Other than a tiny hole here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich color and the bright hues of worldly fortune. I gazed upon my own life and was disheartened.

My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth together, threadbare and empty, like binding air. Finally the time came when each life was to be displayed, held up to the light, the scrutiny of truth. The others rose; each in turn, holding up their tapestries. So filled their lives had been. My angel looked upon me, and nodded for me to rise. My gaze dropped to the ground in shame. I hadn’t had all the earthly fortunes. I had love in my life, and laughter. But there had also been trials of illness, and wealth, I had to start over many times. I often struggled with the temptation to quit, only to somehow muster the strength to pick up and begin again. I spent many nights on my knees in prayer, asking for help and guidance in my life. I had often been held up to ridicule, which I endured painfully, each time offering it up to God in hopes that I would not melt within my skin beneath the judgmental gaze of those who unfairly judged me.

And now, I had to face the truth. My life was what it was, and I had to accept it for what it was.I rose and slowly lifted the combined squares of my life to the light. An awe-filled gasp filled the air. I gazed around at the others who stared at me with wide eyes. Then, I looked upon the tapestry before me. Light flooded the many holes, creating an image, the face of Christ. Then our Lord stood before me, with warmth and love in His eyes. He said, “Every time you gave over your life to Me, it became My life, My hardships, and My struggles. Each point of light in your life is when you stepped aside and let Me shine through, until there was more of Me than there was of you.”

May all our quilts be threadbare and worn, allowing Christ to shine through!

I just wanted to spread the word about a new blog (as in very brand new)from Off the Map that is being co-hosted by EW Rachel Stanton. Check out the Justice and Compassion blog. I’m looking forward to the conversations, information, and challenges I expect this blog will provide.

Hi Gals! I wanted to share some exciting information. A while back I mentioned that Peter Rollins would be spending some time with our community. He is the author of our March book “How (Not) to Speak of God”. He spent time at our church yesterday, graciously ALL DAY (I’m sure he’s tired). Last night our staff had dinner with him. We had a great discussion about “emerging thoughts”, ideas about how to move the “thought” to practice, and talked about what his community does, and what we are doing as a community.

He is the founder of Ikon, a community that meets in a pub and incorporates art, music, philosophy etc. into their gatherings. Peter has a B.A. in Scholastic philosophy, an M.A. is political theory and criticism, and a Ph.D. in postmodern theory. His book is thought provoking and he is a really nice guy. I would really encourage reading this book. It is not a very long book, 75 pages are the “meat” and the last section describes 10 different services that Ikon has done.

I mentioned to Peter that we were reading his book for our March discussion, and asked if he would be available or willing to participate in our discussion. He said he would be more than happy to dialog about the book with us. I think thats a great opportunity for us. I told him we usually begin around the 15th of the month, but would let him know for sure when it begins.

So, again….I really encourage reading the book. I think it will be a great discussion, and it’s wonderful that Peter is willing to join us in that. I hope you join in.

This recent Gallop poll is all over the internet, so I thought EW might as well weigh in on it.

I do realize that a few of those categories correspond to actual current candidates, and my intent is not to start a political debate, but to perhaps examine the causes for this. How deep do our prejudices, hated, and fears run?

Hi All

I hope everyone is having a great week. I’ve really enjoyed the conversations here recently – a lot to think about. I wanted to highlight a few of the EW blog posts from this past week. I encourage everyone to visit these blogs, add comments, and get the conversations going!

As mentioned below, Jemila has a story up at The Ooze. Check it out!

Doxallo has added her blog to the blogroll and has a great post up about Christian Comforts.

Lenten thoughts over at Calacirian, A Church for Starving Artists, Sarcastic Lutheran, and Swinging from the Vine

Miz Melly relects on globalization.

And I reflect on Biblical interpretation, language, and the big picture.

Happy reading all!

I wrote a story, inspired and motivated by discussions with some of you about the need for different kinds of fairy tales to tell our little princesses. It’s up at The Ooze under the title, Ariana and the Magic Cupcakes.

Just to be clear, my title comes with a little sarcasm. I wish it didn’t, but I am in a hurt place. I am not sure what thoughts are attached to the idea of “deception” here, but thought it would make an interesting discussion.

I have had a rough time within my changing thought. Most of the time I am ok with all of my questions, and not having all of the answers. I also have come to a place of trying to respect others journey’s with God, and not judging those connections. Unfortunately, I come from a family with very “exact” understandings of the Bible (there is no other way to read it then the way they read it “It’s black and white”) I try to avoid discussions at all costs, because it is just not worth it. They are not interested in what I have learned, read, and contemplated. To be honest, I understand where they are coming from, why it is hard for them to be “open” and the fears that drive that. I respect their understandings, and know that God is in their life.

What has hurt me is when discussions arise, I can’t defend myself. I tend to stumble over my words, and feel very attacked. I have been flat out told that my “relationship” with God and Jesus is a deception. What I feel God is doing in my life is a lie. Why? Because I differ in thought than they do. If it was just about me, I could probably handle it, but I have children “that I am deceiving”. I have been told by some family members that due to my differing ideas, they will now make sure my children “are given the TRUTH”.

I have a tough time with the concept of “deception”. I have gone through this battle a few times now. The whole thing is a horrible experience for me. When I get upset, I am told that God is trying to “tell me I am wrong”. “I just want to believe, what I want to believe…I pick and choose.” One thing that occured to me finally was, if “Satan” is deceiving me, why have I grown so much closer to God. I have been in church learning “the Truth” my whole life. Not until I opened up to other thoughts, perceptions, and ideas did my spiritual life bloom. I have encountered so many “moments” I can’t explain and sure hope were of God. However, I have been told that I am just going through a “great deception”. I have been told my whole life that “people think that they KNOW God”, but they really don’t. Of course this is based on the “beliefs” that others have had. If it didn’t agree with our understanding, “it was wrong” and therefore a deception.

In struggling with this idea, I think to the passage in Mark 9:

38 John said to Jesus, “Teacher, we saw someone using your name to cast out demons, but we told him to stop because he wasn’t in our group.” 39 “Don’t stop him!” Jesus said. “No one who performs a miracle in my name will soon be able to speak evil of me. 40 Anyone who is not against us is for us. 41 If anyone gives you even a cup of water because you belong to the Messiah, I tell you the truth, that person will surely be rewarded.

I love God and Jesus. I want my children to love God and Jesus. I believe that no one will ever have the “full picture”. The Bible even says so. When I look to Jesus, I do not see all of life’s answers. I see that we should live a life of love, non-judgement, compassion, caring for others; the kingdom life. If that is what I hope to reflect in my life, how can that be a deception of “Satan”? Why is “deception” thrown around so much? Why don’t we realize the dammage that is done within the accusations and judgements? If anything, I feel “satan” at work within the judgement and accusations more than in my journey. I understand more than ever why people reject Christianity or walk away from churches. I never in my life thought I would get to that point, but recently have felt close to it. If it weren’t for the vision of my church, and a place like this to vent I would be gone. I would never turn my back on God, but I could break.

Just curious about your thoughts or experiences. It can be a very lonely, sad place to be, but hearing others opinions and thoughts usually helps.